Well we've just recovered from Christmas holidays, which was supposed to be a recovery from Christmas, which was a week-long affair in our fragmented family.
Leaving that aside, just before Christmas, an interesting situation arose between some good friends of mine - twin brother and sister - which troubled me. Let's call them Joe and Josephine. They are the offspring of a devout atheist and a lapsed Jewish woman.
Josephine, in her late teens, reclaimed her Jewishness, studied judaism and found her way towards a fairly strict Jewish lifestyle. She met a nice Jewish boy, had a gorgeous wedding at a Synagogue, moved to Elsternwick and had a beautiful son. Everyone was happy for her - the twins' parents were over the moon with grandparenthood.
This year was the little one's first Hannukah, and also his first Christmas. Or it was to be... but Dad said no. This little boy is not to celebrate Christmas, as he is a Jew.
Eventually Josephine negotiated that she would be there with her family, but hubby went for a day out with the little one. This child did not celebrate Christmas with his family, and his mother could not celebrate her first Christmas with her baby.
Joe, a committed and well-versed atheist like his father, was ropable. Christmas in this family has never been about Christianity! It is a time for gathering, exchanging presents and sharing a meal. But no - this child will not be at Christmas. The twins' parents (the little one's grandparents) were heartbroken, and tried not to be angry. Joe became an even more evangelical atheist.
Both sides were deeply troubled by the situation - all except Josephine's husband, who was convinced that this was his duty as the father of a Jewish child. I thought about his point of view, as I am not Jewish. I would like to point out that I am thoroughly committed to racial and religious tolerance and understanding. I also know that every situation has multiple meanings to different people, depending on what they bring to it. So I don't wish to judge these friends of mine, but I do want to explore the issue.
With that in mind, here's an attempt at a sympathetic explanation - the Jews for thousands of years have been a stateless culture. Its strength has been in the devotion to the practices of the culture and religion, which have become one. Jewishness is not just a religion, it is a practice and an identity. It needed to be in order to survive so many troubles and challenges for so long. Millions of lives have been sacrificed now, for the sake of Jewishness. This is serious and important, these devotions must be taken very seriously, as they stand for anyone who believes in rituals, cultures and practices.
So no Christmas. This culture cannot be diluted, but must be protected.
On the other hand, this child has another family with its own history and rituals. No-one is seeking to take his Jewish rituals away, so why take away Christmas with his family? Surely - at a minimum - this is creating a situation where the child will rebel. But it's also denying the meaningful ceremonies of his family - a happy, loving, nurturing and understanding family (I know them well, and I often marvel at how startingly well-adjusted they all are). Is this extremism at its worst?
It makes me think of the case of Edgardo Mortara ,the Jewish boy who was taken away by the Inquisition because his nanny had surreptitiously baptised him. The argument was that this boy is now, in spirit and essence, catholic, and would be steeped in the catholic culture and way of life, in spite of his family. The case still inflames outrage in the Jewish community, and derailed Pope John Paul II's campaign to have Pope Pius IX beatified.
So is this little boy's family doing the same thing? Perhaps it's his father's belief in the sacrilege of celebrating other religion's rituals that drives this. But this I also don't understand - I would be honoured to celebrate any form of religious or secular holiday with my married family.
This kind of fearfulness and extremism is surely counter-productive for Jews and those who wish to understand Jewishness. As I say, I am not Jewish, so perhaps I don't understand the depth of commitment and the need for exclusivity of the Jewish faith and culture, but I don't think it can possibly help Judaism thrive in the modern world. Any religion - any discipline for that matter - needs to be challenged to remain alive. Perhaps I'm wrong - perhaps blind devotion and removing children from their heritage is necessary for cultures under threat. But I would argue that, in that case, the culture is not one which deserves respect or devotion.
Is there something I'm missing here?
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4 comments:
Interesting Post, I wonder where the anti-multiculturalists would sit on this issue.
We hear many scream about those migrants that don't integrate completely into Australian culture (what ever that is) and I don't see why they seem so soft on Jewish custom and culture.
I went to school in an area of Melbourne that has a large Jewish population and many of my class mates had no Christmas tradition.
I have no problem with this, Christmas has turned into a tacky marketing tool and not everyone loves their family. People should be able to ignore it if they wish. I am sure that Jewish people have many good family celebrations at other times that suit them.
I wonder how John Howard and his anglo-christian/1950's view of the world would feel about families who don't spend up big at Christmas.
I'm not expecting a shrill call for them to better integrate any time soon.
Having done a year of Aboriginal Studies, i am strongly against assimilation.
It was our previous governments attempts to assimilate the Aboriginal population that transformed a totally independant group into chronically welfare dependant.
When a Jew celebrates Christmas, he/she is doing something un-Jewish via experimenting with other cultures. The same goes to Muslims letting go of the headscarf which they've been encouraged to do so by senior members of our government.
Peoples heritage should be protected and preserved. A Jew and a Muslim should be able to be Jewish/Muslim and not become the subject to pressure.
In one portion of your post you make it sound like Jewishness is a race. I think, Judaism is more of a religion than a race.
Very interesting post.
I have just read through your whole blog. I like it very much.
I think a parent has the right to bring their child up consistent with their beliefs.
I just find it strange that the father, obviously wanting to do exactly that, managed to marry and have a child without anticipating and planning for this eventuality with his wife.
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