What is it about feminism?

I have been reading an interesting, "robust exchange of ideas" on the OzConservative blog, about domestic violence. In reading this, I was struck by the vitriol against feminists, being labelled "feminazis" and "feministas". These people seemed comfortable in mutually reassuring themselves that feminism is equal to extremism and irrationality. I was extremely disappointed. These are clearly educated young men, yet they play the (wo)man and not the ball. When my friend Legal Eagle - more conservatively inclined than I, but equally committed to rational thought - engaged in debate, she was received as a raving lunatic.

I comfortably call myself a feminist. After teaching criminal law, having a baby and attempting to re-enter the workforce, I am proudly entrenched in that position. The label is a purely historical one in some ways: I am proud of the women who have called themselves "feminists" and what that meant. I can now vote, I can work for money, and I can own property. Second wave feminism meant I can work part-time, I can refuse to spend all my time serving my husband's career, and I could get decent help if I found myself in a violent relationship. This is why I call myself a feminist, and I think that's fair enough. Just like others call themselves Aussies or Gypsies or Jews.

What it means, however is as much a question of individual beliefs as any culture or religion. I base these beliefs on my perceptions of people's behaviour, my readings of experiences, and on research. I am a feminist because I believe in a right to a good life, which takes into account the realities, and disregarding unnecessary unrealities, of "gender".

It seems that the mere concept of feminism is unacceptable to these people. My feeling is that this aggressive view belies an inability to recognise women's truths: like their need for meaningful work and meaningful parenthood, the fact of violence against them and the physical and political dominance of men. I think it is hard for a man to imagine what it feels like to be a woman in this context.

Perhaps this one example might help: I did an exercise once, in a workshop that was thinking about relations between the sexes. The background was that one woman identified that there was a man who wouldn't leave her alone when she was sunbathing and swimming by a river one day, despite her efforts at communicating that she was not interested in talking to anyone.

So we did an exercise, where the men stood in a line at one end of the room, and the women stood in line at the other. Then the men had to walk towards the women, and the women had to look a men in the eye and say "stop" when they reached the woman's personal space.

The results were interesting. Many women couldn't do it the first time, they would stop and giggle or feel uncomfortable. The men found this extraordinary - why couldn't you assert your personal space? The second time, all the women did it at the same point - about double arm's length. Interesting that this means that as the men entered touching distance, this was considered within a woman's personal space for this exercise.

On a personal level, I found it confronting to do this, even as a strong young woman. What right did I have to tell a young man not to come near me? How would he feel about that? I don't want to upset him, do I? Especially if he'd been perfectly nice to me during the day? It was very powerful and it clarified a lot of gender relations questions that I'd had up to that point. It certainly had a big impact on the men in the room. These are probably the sort of men who will go away and support White Ribbon Day.

White Ribbon Day is a way of saying to women: yes, we have listened. We don’t deny that there’s a problem. You’ve been screaming at us for a long time to get our attention: you have it now. Let's talk about this: how can we help?

I find WRD extremely reassuring, for exactly that reason.